What’s Hip Hapnin?

This is my schedule for the race.

6:45 - Take 3 extra Strength Tylenol and 4 Ibuprofen
7:00 - Start Running (eye of the tiger should be Qued on Ipod)
7:00-8:00 – feel really good about the race and think I can do this!!!
8:00-8:20 – think where in the hell is that mile 7 aid station????
8:21 – Arrive at Aid Station and wait in line to take my morning crap
8:24 – Begin Morning Crap
8:28 – finish Morning Crap and pray for a very clean wipe
8:29 – Take a cliff shot and put more Vaseline in my crack and in that spot where my legs still rub together
8:30 – begin walking up huge hill from mile 7 – 8
9:00 – take morning crap #2
9:05 – pray for another clean wipe
9:06 – more Vaseline
9:07 – Take 3 extra Strength Tylenol and 4 Ibuprofen
9:08 – begin to question if I should really be doing this
10:00 – Arrive at mile 15
10:01 – contemplate faking an injury
10:02 – suggest to JR that we stretch just a little longer
10:10 – Back on the road
10:11 – stop to Take 3 extra Strength Tylenol and 4 Ibuprofen
10:45 – arrive at mile 18
10:46 – more vaseline
10:48 – cry
11:10 - Mile 20 Take 3 extra Strength Tylenol and 4 Ibuprofen
11:11 – cry some more
11:25 – hallucinations begin because of strange reaction between cliff shot and vaseline
12:13 – try to keep pace with an old lady who somehow pees while running
12:14 – old lady leaves me behind and I am just running in her pee stream…I am ok with this because it kindof cools me down.
12:30 – stumble across the finish line with swollen knees and bleeding nipples and horribly chafed butt crack (we are the champions should be playing on ipod)
12:31 – 1:00 – Jon and I just hold each other for a while and share an ice cream
1:01 – Jon leaves, I cry some more

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